


I'm Old Enough to Face the Dawn

by felicityollies



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Canon Rewrite, F/M, Light Angst, One Night Stands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-08
Updated: 2016-03-08
Packaged: 2018-05-25 13:59:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6197791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicityollies/pseuds/felicityollies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>2x06 rewrite “What happens in Russia stays in Russia…. even when it makes no sense whatsoever.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Old Enough to Face the Dawn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [honorthedeadbyfighting](https://archiveofourown.org/users/honorthedeadbyfighting/gifts).



> happy birthday to Adri ([honorthedeadbyfighting](honorthedeadbyfighting.tumblr.com))! It probably could have been angstier, but I hope you like it anyhow. ♥

Felicity lie in bed staring at the ceiling. She didn’t know what she was doing there. It wasn’t her bed. It wasn’t her room. She should have been in her own hotel room sleeping. Yet here she was definitely not sleeping. She did doze off a little, but that was beside the point.

Movement beside her caused her to wince. 

_Oh god how could I have let this happen._

Oliver mumbled something incoherent in his sleep. His face was near her shoulder and he had an arm limply flung across her stomach. They were both naked and tangled up in the sheets. She felt like a moron. A huge moron. She didn’t do these kinds of things. She didn’t sleep with her boss and she certainly didn’t sleep with her friends. 

She couldn’t even blame the Russian vodka for this. She didn’t drink enough to qualify as make-bad-decisions drunk. But this was one of the worst decisions she had ever made. 

Felicity, slowly and quietly, slid from the bed. She let go of the sheet as she stood. Her eye moved over the bed where Oliver still lie peacefully snoozing. The sheets had been tugged just enough that part of his back and ass were visible. She sighed shaking her head and moving to swiftly pick up her clothes. 

Hours ago she had come to Oliver’s room to talk. They cracked open a bottle of vodka, shared a few laughs, and one thing led to another….

She had wanted it last night. There was no denying that she did, but now she was questioning everything. She was so lonely all the time, so when opportunity presented itself she couldn’t help but take it. It was nice to feel wanted. It was nice to feel satisfied. 

The image of Oliver Queen’s head between her legs was forever going to be burned into her mind. The way he took his time and touched her in just the right had been almost masterful. He made her back arch and a scream rip through her throat. She never screamed like that. She was a loud person in bed, but this was different. She really didn’t want to think about why he was so good at pleasing women that way. It just made the situation worse. 

Then of course they had sex because Oliver doesn’t just stop at one orgasm. No, that would be just wrong. Felicity sighed and tugged on her clothes. She started towards the door while still slipping on her shoes. She really thought she was going to wake him, but luckily she managed to get out into the hallway without a problem. 

Not so lucky, she ran into Isabel Rochev on her way out. 

“Well, well, well,” The other woman spoke. “Looks like I was right.”

“What?” Felicity tried and failed to look innocent. 

“Your qualifications for this job included,” She trailed off and gestured towards the door. “And that Mr. Queen simply wanted a fun weekend with his short-skirted assistant.” 

Isabel’s words made Felicity’s stomach churn, but she tried not to show it. “My skirts aren’t that short.” She muttered before walking away. 

She hurried towards her own room and refused to look back. It didn’t matter, though, she could still hear Isabel’s chuckling. Evil chuckling at that. Why was she awake at oh-god-thirty in the morning anyway? Does she just lurk around waiting for a soul to suck or youth to steal? 

Felicity got inside her hotel room and let out the longest sigh. She leaned against the door letting herself slide to the floor. Her arms wrapped around her legs and her forehead rest against her knees. 

“Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.” She muttered quietly. 

She didn’t even like Oliver. At least she didn’t think so. It was all so muddled now. She was an emotional person which is why she didn’t do the one-night stand thing. She cared about Oliver and he was her friend. She could have really liked him, but having a crush on Oliver Queen was basically shooting herself in the foot; stupid and painful. 

None of it mattered. He didn’t see her that way. She was the weird, talks-too-much, not model-esque nerd from the lower level of QC. Why would Oliver want to sleep with her to begin with? Maybe she radiated pathetic loneliness and it was a pity screw. It didn’t feel like it when it was happening, but who really knows what goes on in that vigilante’s head? She at least knew for sure that it wasn’t anything emotional. She knew that no one felt anything other than friendly towards her. It was a sad fact of her life. 

A knock at the door startled her. “Felicity?” It was Oliver. 

She thought he was still sleeping, but then again she had no idea how long she was sitting there stewing in her own thoughts. “Yes?” 

“What are you doing by the door?” 

“I know you didn’t come across the hall to ask me that?” 

“Well, no,” He sighed. “We need to leave.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah.” 

Felicity sucked in a deep breath. 

“Felicity?” 

“What?” She leaned her head back against the door. 

“About last night….” He started to say, but she cut him off. 

“Don’t worry about it. Whatever happens in Russia stays in Russia.” She closed her eyes and hated herself for saying those words. 

* * *

Felicity sat in a truck with Oliver while they waited. It was quiet and awkward. She didn’t know what to say or do, so she sat there in the silence.

“So…” Oliver finally said. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about last night?” 

“What part of what happens in Russia stays in Russia was not clear?” She knew it sounded snippy.

Oliver rubbed his neck awkwardly. “We’re still in Russia…” 

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Felicity kept her eyes forward. “I don’t want things to get weird between us so… it’s whatever. We’re still friends… I think.” She said the last part quietly. 

Oliver opened his mouth to speak again, but the door opened and Anatoly stepped inside. 

“There is nothing that money cannot buy in this country.” The Russian man said. 

Felicity needed to focus on the task at hand. Their friend and his, apparent, ex-wife were in trouble. They needed their help and she couldn’t do anything to be even somewhat helpful if she was still thinking about last night. 

* * *

Telling herself to stop thinking about it and actually doing it were too very different things. She spent the rest of the trip with it nagging at the back of her mind. She sat at her desk at QC and continued to think about it. She just didn’t understand how she could have such a huge lapse in judgement. It wasn’t like her to do those kinds of things.   
She sighed and leaned forward on her desk. Maybe she needed a break. A break from Oliver, a break from their nightly activities, and maybe from Starling too. It also wasn’t like her to run from her problems, but since she was being unlike herself why not continue?

The sound of someone’s throat clearing caused her eyes to flutter open. She looked up and met Oliver’s gaze across the room. He had a we-need-to-talk expression on his face. She didn’t know why it was bothering him so much; the fact she wouldn’t talk to him about their mistake. 

“Felicity.” He started, but she held her hand up.

“If you’re going to ask again I’m just going to say it now, I don’t want to talk about it.”

He frowned, but it wasn’t his normal scowl. It teetered on the edge of a wounded puppy frown. 

“Why can’t you let it be?” She asked. “I know I’m not your first one-night stand.” She stood up from her desk. 

“Because… you’re not some random girl from a bar.” He mumbled. 

“That doesn’t mean I want to have a lengthy conversation about how stupid it was.” 

He glanced down and didn’t say anything. 

“I didn’t sleep with you thinking anything was going to become of it. I wasn’t thinking at all.” She was angry at herself, angry at the situation, but she wasn’t really angry at Oliver; it wasn’t his fault because she could have easily said no, but she didn’t. She hadn’t wanted to say no. Right now, though, all her stress and frustration was coming out and the canon was aimed directly at Oliver. 

“I’m sorry,” He said quietly. “I shouldn’t have… I lead a dangerous life and I shouldn’t be with anyone that I could really care about. Not like that… Not at all.” 

“I don’t want an apology. I don’t want your pity either.” Felicity’s chest felt tight as she spoke. 

“I’m not pitying you.” Oliver met her gaze again. 

She let out a shaky breath and shook her head. 

“Is there something that you do want?” He asked after a few seconds had past.

“A break.” 

“A break?” He repeated. 

“I need some air. I need to get away.” She dragged her eyes lower. 

“Take a couple hours and come back. I’ll be fine here.” 

“No, Oliver,” She kept her eyes low. “I need a few days… maybe even a week.” 

“Oh.” He sighed. 

They were both silent for what seemed like forever before Oliver finally spoke again. “Take as much time as you need. Dig and I will be fine alone.” 

Felicity stayed quiet. 

“I mean it and if we do need help we both know how to get a hold of you.” Aka if we need help I’ll have John call you. 

“Fine.” She said flatly. She quickly scooped up her things. “For the record,” She added as she slid her tablet and laptop into her bag. “It doesn’t matter what you think you should or shouldn’t have done. I’m a grown woman and I make my own choices good, bad, or otherwise.” 

She slung her bag over her shoulder and looked up at him. He was quiet, so she started out of the office. 

“You deserve a lot more, Felicity.” Oliver’s voice was barely above a whisper. 

She stopped for a heartbeat, but continued forward. He didn’t know what he was talking about. She wasn’t going to let him make her believe that she could have something more. She never had. Everything she ever did have evaporated before her eyes. 

Felicity got into the elevator and leaned against the back wall. She closed her eyes balling her hand into a fist. She slammed it back against the wall. 

“So stupid.” Her voice cracked as the words left her lips. 

Maybe this break would do her some good, but if it didn’t she wasn’t sure what she was going to do.


End file.
